I recall a well known song from my Sunday school days!
When we have faith in God we find an inward affirmation and significance related to our own identity and purpose in life.
If ‘faith’ is a challenge, then the song can be amended.
‘The world loves you and I love you and that’s the way it should be!’ once again repeat and any actions can be changed accordingly. Without a ‘Divine’ we may look for affirmation and significance from our fellow human beings and the environment around us.
A final slant on the song may go as follows:
‘Nobody loves me and I don’t love myself or you and that’s the way it is!’repeat with or without any actions! If we do not feel affirmed personally then our attitudes and actions can harden to ourselves and those around us.
I often refer to a New York best seller ‘The 5 Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman. In his book he outlines how we all communicate through five basic love languages such as Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of service and Physical touch.Each one of us have our own particular love language and if we understand and work with other peoples love languages then it greatly improves personal relationships and interactions.
In thinking about the language of Affirmation it builds us up. The opposite of such language may be Words of Deformation that tear us down.
The language we use, conveys the intentions of our heart which may comprise of ‘love or disdain’ for those we communicate with on a daily basis. When using the language of Affirmation it will include ‘verbal compliments alongside encouraging and humble words.’
In assessing this language of Affirmation for ourselves, it might be an opportunity to think about the words we actually speak internally. In the first instance do we speak lovingly and significantly to ourselves?
In life conversations and discussions are we able to discern our own words and hear the words of Affirmation or Deformation that other people speak?
When working with clients in the coaching process we often reflect, review and conclude aspects of personal affirmation, and self significance. Clarity is required where individuals feel a measure of inadequacy. It is then important to strengthen those areas in the context of relationships and actions that affect a given goal and situation.
Think for a moment about applying for a job and considering a new career opportunity. We will have to present ourselves in a very positive light, reflecting a true measure of who we are and what we may bring to that job and career. However, many people confess to exaggerating their CV profiles, but in reality who are they kidding the most?
It is important to experience a healthy self love, affirmation and a feeling of significance. Such confidence will naturally radiate to those we work and live with and result in people sharing words of affirmation to us in spite of all our faults and failings.
Equally there will be people that want to harm us and put us down for whatever reason. In that context it is important not to conduct such relationships ‘in reaction’ to those who speak words of Deformation than Affirmation over us.
In 2 Corinthians 1 v 4 -7 it says that we can find ‘comfort’ in the context of our faith, which will then enable us to ‘comfort those who are in distress themselves.’ In being affirmed and comforted in all situations we can find a strength internally to share externally to all we meet.
So try and think through your own specific Love Language. (There will be an overlap)
Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch.
Seek to understand the Love Language of the person you are communicating with.
Then you will be surprised what difference it makes in enhancing your relationships and changing many life situations and consequences!
Oh by the way I forgot to mention that the opening song had another verse to it.
‘You can be happy and I can be happy and that’s the way it should be!’Whatever life situations you find yourself in, be assured that as we are Affirmed and feel Significant then our levels of Happiness will increase for today and tomorrow.