In my Life Coaching profile:
https://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/lifecoaches/graham-smallman I refer to a car that has all its windows misted up and requires serious demisting so as to continue the journey safely! At times in our lives it is important to clarify ‘aims and goals’ that have become ‘obscure’ and to think about how best to introduce greater ‘clarity’ so as to improve vision, performance and contentment. It reminds me of those words about life being “a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (1)
For a moment may we consider Thomas George Thomas or Lord Tonypandy who was a Labour politician and the speaker of the House of Commons from 1976 to his retirement from politics in 1983?
Thomas or Tommy twice, as he was known, often proclaimed his own unique Welsh variation on the cries of “Order! Order!” The speaker’s role is to control Parliamentary debates on important matters of national governance that would invariably get out of hand. The current speaker of the House is John Berscow who has to remain non-partisan, not get involved in debates and may occasionally vote.
It can be argued that in life we experience more chaos than order? The challenge before us then is to introduce and maintain some semblance of order into any chaos that exists around us. Think about a bag that you may carry around with you? A hand bag, man bag, tool bag, make up bag, shopping bag, sports bag and work bag?
Each bag has a particular purpose to maintain some order in the midst of chaos, be it functional, cosmetic or technological.
When Lord Tonypandy shouted out loud Order! Order! It was rooted in Chaos and Chaos! I wonder when you experience Chaos! Chaos! How do you achieve Order! Order!
Our beginnings and roots in life are very significant and affect how we see and interact in the world around us.
Many people, who have a root of Faith, believe that a Divine hand has brought about order out of chaos. Creation is beautiful and is sustained and maintained season after season.
Many others without a root of Faith see life differently, acknowledging that creation has come from a different form of intervention and evolves and maintains itself in some mystical, logical, illogical and scientific way?
There is an irreversible fact that in both cases, as year succeeds to year, the earth and the cosmos continues in Chaos and in Order!
My observation at this point is that to some degree or another we all implement a ‘psychology of control’ to maintain the requirements of body, mind and spirit in a holistic manner. There are many debates and conclusions around control and a lack of control, yet in wanting to control life we soon realize that it is impossible, which can cause us to become downcast and confused.
• A controlling mind may be due to feelings of inferiority?
• Controlling actions may be as a result of not trusting people around us?
• Any effort to decontrol will require a change of thinking, feeling and acting!
Thinking – to ‘gain and use knowledge’ can enhance a feeling of being in control!
Feeling – ‘ignorance can be bliss’ and inadvertently makes us feel better!
Acting – Our ‘actions, reactions and no actions’ do have consequences!
In looking to change and adapt ‘root behaviours’ there may be required a process of demisting or transition from ‘major control’ to ‘going with the flow.’ that enhances our self-development.
Such a change allows ‘ignorance and innocence’ to gain a better ‘understanding and appreciation’ of any chaotic or orderly life scenario that comes to us.
In a ‘controlled work bag,’ we may carry demanding and self-centred attitudes that affect our relationships with working colleagues. If we are placed in a team and have to negotiate and compromise with colleagues, then one could find it difficult to adapt to the requirements of such a changed working environment.
Yet such a change can strengthen our core beliefs and help us to introduce new approaches to work procedures and relationships. The opposite may be true when we need to become more assertive and self-confident when we naturally hold on to positions of quietness and shyness.
In areas where we feel out of control, our coping mechanism maybe to exert control or retreat into obscurity? In both accounts it’s important to maintain a work, life, control and out of control balance!
The history of Parliamentary democracy in England came about because of an excessive control from Royalty and other governing parties.
Oliver Cromwell (‘warts and all’) was a Roundhead leader during the English Civil war from 1643 to 1651 and implemented change by design and default to produce a Parliamentary democracy that represented the views and aspirations of all people and was more representative in the affairs of state. National control still had to exist but it became more rooted in a fairer system of government for all citizens.
So in the midst and amongst the mist and clouds that descend and ascend, may we in the Welsh words of Tommy Twice find:
Order! Order! in Chaos! Chaos!
In Chaos! Chaos! Order! Order!
(1) James 4 v 13 – 14
For further reading hit the links below for the second edition of my book Blog 51 (October 2020) in black and white or colour
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