Happiness Indicator

Two weeks ago I was asked by a local newspaper to offer up a fifty word summary on the value of being happy which was to celebrate the International Day of Happiness on the 20^th March established by the United Nations.

It was quite a challenge and in this blog I want to expand my thinking and encourage you to consider your own assessment of how you experience being happy? For me, this picture represents a state of contentment and happiness in spite of the danger below.

Photo by Artem Beliaikin Pexels.com

In Proverb 15: 13, it says that ‘a happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit’ (NIV). What then, we may ask, makes for a happy heart and why does it show on our faces? I think we all know why heartache crushes the spirit!

Everybody wants to find and maintain a satisfactory level of happiness in all our relationships and experiences so avoiding sorrow and sadness.

Many national governments and local agencies recognise the importance of people being happy. It may be the case that such an initiative of having an international day of happiness, is due in part to the avalanche of unhappiness we experience and are exposed to daily in the media and at large.

The definition of one person’s happiness will be quite different for another. In defining happiness I think it is to experience feelings that are temporal and can represent a person’s characteristic but is definitely not dependent on particular happenings. The illusive state of happiness is always challenged by the realities of human existence in all its forms. However, I do believe that a process of ‘giving and receiving’ has a big part to play in finding and experiencing happiness.

The comedian Ken Dodd created a mythical band of ‘Diddy Men’ who had their own tickling sticks, with the intention of making people laugh and feel happy. Ken recorded a popular song Happiness that represented his life’s work and character. In his gigs that often lasted for many hours he would share a joke for his audience to receive and enjoy who in turn showed their appreciation by laughing and clapping. This ‘giving and receiving’ benefitted both parties and resulted in happy energy, laughter and appreciation.  

I have heard it said by many, that their happiness comes from being able to help people in differing ways. This formula of giving out to others enables us to receive back, which gives us a feeling of contentment and happiness in ourselves and in the happenings we incur in life.

I also think that to be happy is very much akin to being kind which can transform us into an attitude of thankfulness for life and living. There is an old saying: ‘be thankful for small mercies,’ which represents a grateful outlook on life that can produce a happy output which aids our general wellbeing body, mind and spirit. When we are thankful and experience a good measure of contentment then it firms up an inner joy and peace that is not dependent on good happenings around us.

Recently, I was reading some comments shared by Luke Shaw, a professional footballer, who was speaking about his relationship with his manger Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. He expressed how happy he was because of the confidence that his manager had placed in him. This in turn helped him to enjoy his football with increased confidence and happiness in the games he played in. 

There are a number of ‘happiness indicators’ that are available online which can help us assess what levels of happiness we are at and with a measure of reasoning behind them. For a moment consider my own simple ‘happiness indicator’ and on a scale of 0 to 10 (10 being the highest) record what makes you happy at this present time?  In assessing the results, the scores will vary depending on the different seasons and circumstances we find ourselves in. 

Self-acceptance (________)  Money (________)   Relationships   (________)    Work (________) Love   (________)   Voluntary work     (________) Faith in God, philosophy or no God (________)       Other   (________)   

For me my anchor and faith in God gives me a sense of thankfulness and a quiet joy and peace. It gives me a strength within my inner core that acts as a basis for my temporal and continuous happiness.

In the Beatitudes it outlines certain experiences we may be facing. It then encourages us to take hold of different attitudes that will bring change to those life circumstances we face. In considering the fifth beatitude, ‘Blessed (happy) are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy’, it highlights that in our giving of mercy (offering kindness and forgiveness) to others we will in turn be shown mercy that will make us feel happy.

As we draw to a close I would like to go back to those fifty words as mentioned at the beginning.

“To be happy is to experience feelings that are not permanent. We can find happiness within our inner core that is independent from happenings and is reflected in our character. To ‘give and receive’ plays a big part in experiencing happiness that will be clearly seen in our cheerful faces”.  

Cheerful faces Photo by Ketut Subiyanto Pexels.com

Have a happy and cheerful Easter and maybe take time to listen to Pharrell Williams song Happy and even join in the clapping!

Graham

For further reading hit the links below for the second edition (October 2020) in black and white or colour

A story of hesed

Recently I received an email from a magazine which is to be launched in January 2019.

Its aim is to help create a better planet for everyone. They believe that showing a little kindness is what the world needs now. The Lord Major of London Sadiq Khan also spoke about the importance of being ‘kind’ especially in politics and everyday life.

I have a wood burning stove and after getting the chimney swept in the summer it was recommended that I replace the fire cement around the flue at the top of the stove. I visited a local supplier to purchase the new fire cement and was pleasantly surprised to find that when I was due to pay, for no apparent reason apart from being kind to me, he said that I could have it for free.

That incident reminded me of the Greek fable by Aesop concerning the actions of the North wind and the sun.  The wind said to the sun that he could get a traveller on earth to take off his coat quicker than the sun could. The sun gave way and let the north wind blow. The stronger the wind blew the more determined the man was to cling on to his coat and then eventually the wind gave up. The sun retuned to shine brightly and after a while the man moped his brow and then took his coat off because of the gentle warmth of the sun.The moral of the fable is that ‘kindness and persuasion’ as represented by the sun, is often far better than force as experienced with the North wind.

Back in the day, a story is told of acts of kindness that included three central characters all linked together. A woman and her husband decided to leave their home nation because of a famine in the land. They moved to a country nearby with their two sons where they could settle and find food and security. They established a home, found work and in time the two sons married two local women.

However, loss came to visit the family when initially the husband of the woman died and then a few years later the two sons both died. Such a tragedy meant that the lady and her two daughter in laws had to reassess their personal circumstances.

In time the lady decided to return to her homeland and initially the two daughter in laws said they would go with her. After much discussion only one daughter in law travelled with her whilst the other remained in the hope of getting married again. When the two women returned to the town where their family had lived they were welcomed and recognised. The daughter in law worked in a local field at the time of harvest and gleaned wheat and barley that was left over.

As an act of kindness and support to the family, a relative of the widowed husband, offered to buy some family land. The daughter in law went on to marry the relative who was recognised as a ‘kinsman redeemer.’ Together they had an important son who was a forerunner of a future king.

This story is a ‘love story’ full of incident, sadness, kindness and restoration. It reminds us that in whatever circumstances of life, simple ‘loving kindness’ is everywhere but we have to recognise and acknowledge it.

The story I refer to is found in the Old Testament and known as the book of Ruth. It is often retold during the feast of Pentecost and the three characters are Naomi, Ruth and Boaz.

It’s important at this point to think about the reactions of Naomi. Having lost her husband Elimelech and two sons Mahlon and Chilion she sought to support and be kind to her daughter in laws Ruth and Orpah. Naomi was vulnerable, destitute and had little security and income at a time when male authority dominated. In Ruth chapter 1 v 20 Naomi offers an assessment of her situation. “Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went away full and I have returned empty.”

In thinking about Ruth she made a decision to travel with Naomi back to their homeland of Bethlehem where they were welcomed. In chapter 1 v 16 Ruth says to Naomi “where you go I will go, where you live I will live, your people shall be my people and your God will be my God.” Together they resettled as two vulnerable women.

Then there was Boaz, an older man who kindly offered physical protection and provision for Ruth. He had noted the kindness that Ruth had shown to Naomi at a personal cost. He then offered to buy the family field which included taking responsibility for Ruth as a future wife. Boaz had to refer the sale to another relative who declined the offer. Ruth and Boaz then married and bore a son Obed who was the father of King David and a relative of Jesus.

I wonder when you last experienced a random act of kindness or initiated one yourself just for the sheer joy of it.

The Hebrew word ‘Hesed’ is hard to translate into English but represents acts of ‘loving kindness’ that are not self-motivated but are full of devotion, faithfulness, goodness, loyalty and mercy.

In considering this ‘story of hesed’ think of a place beside a lake, river or sea side. Take a smooth pebble and throw it into the water and see how many ‘ripples’ or ‘skims’ it produces on the water. The man in the shop who gifted me the free fire cement is not aware that I am referring to him in this blog and how his simple act of kindness has ‘rippled’ affecting many others.

So in the different seasons of life may we celebrate small acts of kindness which Naomi, Ruth and Boaz showed? May those ‘ripples of loving kindness’ (hesed) influence us all in the public and private spheres of life for many years to come.

Graham

For further reading hit the links below for the second edition of my book Blog 51 (October 2020) in black and white or colour