Graduation Day 2022

It’s a beautiful July day and I am taking time to write my new Blog and Insights that I’m publishing this month. I am sat in the same area where I was as an undergraduate reading Theology and Religious Studies at Manchester University some 32 years ago.   

Looking down from the Ryland’s library window I can hear and see many students with their families travelled from the Great Hall, where their Graduation ceremony has just taken place, to the university quadrangle where the Celebration Marquee is housed for everyone to enjoy a Celebratory Drink. There are lots of photos being taken with the students smiling and laughing whilst proudly wearing their Graduation garments for all to see and appreciate.

Human life is full of different stages to navigate and graduate from and to, until our final graduation when we take our last breathe. In a very general sense we can say that there are three stages in life. Formative Years. – from birth to around thirty years. Mid Years – from thirty to around sixty years. Retirement Years – from sixty to the day we die.

Think for a moment where you are within those stages of life? Are you on an upward 10% gradient or a downward 10% gradient?

Formative Years 

It’s wonderful to observe a new born baby and see the different stages they go through. From the breast they are weaned to eat solids and then progress from the nappy to the potty to the toilet, alongside crawling, walking and talking and sleeping. They become more demanding and ask why all the time!

They graduate from nursery, infants, juniors and seniors and beyond. They are baptised, christened and take their first communion. They fall and get scratches, bruises and broken bones.  

As adolescents they become cheeky and sleepy, alert and disinterested, they are loved and learn how to love others saying sorry and not being so self-centred. The big wide world is equally scary and wonderfully engaging. They become body conscious and compare themselves to others trying to understand their own character and personalities. They learn how to spend and save money, to buy clothes, exercise, read a book, listen to music and play the latest video games.

Exams are failed, passed and retaken. Negotiating the driving test and initial job interviews that reject or confirm life skills and abilities cause them to shine or feel a bit jaded. Sleep-overs, all night parties, negotiating with parents and learning how to recover. First kiss, first love, rejection and loneliness. Settlement, contentment, faith, no faith, thankfulness and resentment for parents and carers and experiencing independence in the modern world. We find our perfect place to live being on our own, married or living together. There is planned or unplanned pregnancies, raising children, divorce, separation and renewed love.   

Such a lot has happened in the first thirty years of life. We make a self-assessment on how we have graduated giving ourselves a first, second, third, pass or fail. Pause for a moment to give thanks for your formative years the good, bad and the ugly and forgive those who didn’t treat you as they should have in ignorance or with malice.

Mid Years

At this point life may feel quite settled or still in a period of flux either trying to accept the status quo with thanksgiving or regret. We continue to work hard to provide for all our personal needs and family responsibilities. We support our parents, siblings, children and wider family members. We seek to create and celebrate many life achievements with party’s and special meals together. We are quietly content in our lovely homes, confident at work whilst negotiating promotions, one to ones, disputes and preparing for the long haul towards retirement with a planned or interrupted pension.

We enjoy ours days in the home, on holiday and coping with various health issues that affect us. They all seem at times like a 20% uphill or downward gradient.

Photo by Robert So pexels.com

We adapt to increased waistlines whilst trying to maintain some form of exercise regime. Loss, bereavement and confusion, in many forms, challenge us to the core but we are thankful for long term friends and family who make that continual difference. 

We move and settle into a different home creating a place of calm or chaos! We aspire to own that dream car or environmentally friendly rusty bike. We live hand to mouth or have excessive amounts of cash in the bank for personal use only. We hold on to friends that we have known since school days or realise they are few in number and it’s hard to establish new ones.

In all we begin to look back and forward wondering what if! As with those formative years seek to accept the good, bad and the ugly and forgive those who didn’t treat you as they should have in ignorance or with malice.

Retirement Years

I have known many people who have been fortunate to take an early retirement from around 50 – 55 years with a full pension. Many though have had to retire early due to ill health or difficult circumstances with only state benefits to live on.

In both cases it can be very difficult to adapt from a life of organised work to a life of change wherein we have a freedom to organise our own days, apart from the demands our loved ones place upon us and any financial constraints.

Sunset. Thanks Noaa  unsplash.com             

However, life continues with beautiful children being born and many opportunities to care for them, remembering those formative years from a different perspective. We downsize, take it easy and seek to enjoy life in a different way. We think again about why we were baptised, christened and the importance of sharing Holy Communion. Brother and sister pain, comes to visit us and we become regulars at the doctors and local hospital. It seems like we are facing a 30% uphill or downward gradient.

Silently or out loud we prepare to meet our maker graduating to some place that we haven’t fully researched or accepted, concluding that any eternal theory or fact is irrelevant to daily living. We look to make up with those we have fallen out with or just accept that no reconciliation will take place.

We complete a ‘last will and testament’ for the estate we have accumulated to be distributed to those people and charities we love. Life is one long graduation combining different gradients that go up and down with ease or great pain.

Recently on LinkedIn it has been great to read the stories of the Graduates saying thanks to their family, friends and lecturers who have helped them during their studies and all their aspirations for a bright future.

As with those formative and mid years may we accept the good, bad and the ugly and forgive those who didn’t treat us as they should have in ignorance or with malice.

Our bodies and minds change and decay and we see the chequered flag of life emerging. But as a Christian Minister and person of faith I believe that there is a wonderful hope that one day we may be in the very presence of our Maker and Redeemer.

In that new and eternal life, there may be more plateaus than gradients, but having such a hope and aspiration, it offers me a strength for today and a bright hope for tomorrow.

Selah (pause to think calmly on what you have just read)

exploretoinspire.uk

Graham

A story of hesed

Recently I received an email from a magazine which is to be launched in January 2019.

Its aim is to help create a better planet for everyone. They believe that showing a little kindness is what the world needs now. The Lord Major of London Sadiq Khan also spoke about the importance of being ‘kind’ especially in politics and everyday life.

I have a wood burning stove and after getting the chimney swept in the summer it was recommended that I replace the fire cement around the flue at the top of the stove. I visited a local supplier to purchase the new fire cement and was pleasantly surprised to find that when I was due to pay, for no apparent reason apart from being kind to me, he said that I could have it for free.

That incident reminded me of the Greek fable by Aesop concerning the actions of the North wind and the sun.  The wind said to the sun that he could get a traveller on earth to take off his coat quicker than the sun could. The sun gave way and let the north wind blow. The stronger the wind blew the more determined the man was to cling on to his coat and then eventually the wind gave up. The sun retuned to shine brightly and after a while the man moped his brow and then took his coat off because of the gentle warmth of the sun.The moral of the fable is that ‘kindness and persuasion’ as represented by the sun, is often far better than force as experienced with the North wind.

Back in the day, a story is told of acts of kindness that included three central characters all linked together. A woman and her husband decided to leave their home nation because of a famine in the land. They moved to a country nearby with their two sons where they could settle and find food and security. They established a home, found work and in time the two sons married two local women.

However, loss came to visit the family when initially the husband of the woman died and then a few years later the two sons both died. Such a tragedy meant that the lady and her two daughter in laws had to reassess their personal circumstances.

In time the lady decided to return to her homeland and initially the two daughter in laws said they would go with her. After much discussion only one daughter in law travelled with her whilst the other remained in the hope of getting married again. When the two women returned to the town where their family had lived they were welcomed and recognised. The daughter in law worked in a local field at the time of harvest and gleaned wheat and barley that was left over.

As an act of kindness and support to the family, a relative of the widowed husband, offered to buy some family land. The daughter in law went on to marry the relative who was recognised as a ‘kinsman redeemer.’ Together they had an important son who was a forerunner of a future king.

This story is a ‘love story’ full of incident, sadness, kindness and restoration. It reminds us that in whatever circumstances of life, simple ‘loving kindness’ is everywhere but we have to recognise and acknowledge it.

The story I refer to is found in the Old Testament and known as the book of Ruth. It is often retold during the feast of Pentecost and the three characters are Naomi, Ruth and Boaz.

It’s important at this point to think about the reactions of Naomi. Having lost her husband Elimelech and two sons Mahlon and Chilion she sought to support and be kind to her daughter in laws Ruth and Orpah. Naomi was vulnerable, destitute and had little security and income at a time when male authority dominated. In Ruth chapter 1 v 20 Naomi offers an assessment of her situation. “Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went away full and I have returned empty.”

In thinking about Ruth she made a decision to travel with Naomi back to their homeland of Bethlehem where they were welcomed. In chapter 1 v 16 Ruth says to Naomi “where you go I will go, where you live I will live, your people shall be my people and your God will be my God.” Together they resettled as two vulnerable women.

Then there was Boaz, an older man who kindly offered physical protection and provision for Ruth. He had noted the kindness that Ruth had shown to Naomi at a personal cost. He then offered to buy the family field which included taking responsibility for Ruth as a future wife. Boaz had to refer the sale to another relative who declined the offer. Ruth and Boaz then married and bore a son Obed who was the father of King David and a relative of Jesus.

I wonder when you last experienced a random act of kindness or initiated one yourself just for the sheer joy of it.

The Hebrew word ‘Hesed’ is hard to translate into English but represents acts of ‘loving kindness’ that are not self-motivated but are full of devotion, faithfulness, goodness, loyalty and mercy.

In considering this ‘story of hesed’ think of a place beside a lake, river or sea side. Take a smooth pebble and throw it into the water and see how many ‘ripples’ or ‘skims’ it produces on the water. The man in the shop who gifted me the free fire cement is not aware that I am referring to him in this blog and how his simple act of kindness has ‘rippled’ affecting many others.

So in the different seasons of life may we celebrate small acts of kindness which Naomi, Ruth and Boaz showed? May those ‘ripples of loving kindness’ (hesed) influence us all in the public and private spheres of life for many years to come.

Graham

For further reading hit the links below for the second edition of my book Blog 51 (October 2020) in black and white or colour

Paradise

I’m sitting on the Veranda watching the world go by in Paradise!

I wonder where your Paradise might be and for what reason? Recently I was in Port Douglas, Queensland, Australia. It is sub-tropical and the weather ranges from hot to hotter and includes for good measure lots of downpours especially in the rainy season. The nearest l have got to a Veranda in the UK has been on a balcony in someone’s flat or whilst holidaying in a room with a balcony and a sea view.

Veranda is a Portuguese word and describes a roofed, open air gallery or porch. The area is partly enclosed by a railing and extends across the front and side of a structure. There are many buildings in Australia and New Zealand that have verandas which came to prominence from the 1850’s. One particular style is known as a ‘Queenslander’ which adapts well to the sub-tropical climate as shown below.

There are many other places throughout the world where buildings have a veranda and before fridges enabled food to be kept cool under the floorboards in the heat of the day.

A lovely experience on a veranda is witnessing the early morning sun rise. The day unfolds with its own ‘time demands’ that will dictate how long we remain sat on the veranda. Meal time and evening gives us a further opportunity to observe the sun setting and feel the cool of the evening.

There is something special about being on our own, having time to eat, sleep, read and reflect. Equally it is wonderful when we have our special friends around us, chatting and having fun and laughter, serious debate and seeking to appreciate another person’s point of view.

Memories can be greeted as a friend or a disturbance of peace. We are taken to our ‘museum of memories’ where we recall happy times, challenging experiences and occasions where we have to place and let go of them so as to move forward in life. However looking back can be helpful as we learn from our mistakes and be thankful for our successes.

January 26 is Australia Day and in all the celebrations there will be the waving of the Australian Coat of Arms. On it are two of Australia’s most iconic animals, the kangaroo and emu.

It is believed the reason why they are included is because they both are unable to walk backwards, signifying Australia’s aspiration and intent as a nation to always move forward. It’s a lovely thought that we all can aspire to, taking those forward steps with our eyes fixed firmly on the future, leaving the past behind and not allowing any negativity to impact our present or future?

There is an interesting statement that reads: ‘Godliness with contentment is great gain.’ (1) We all are in the pursuit of contentment and happiness. Some of us look to material gain and certain experiences that maintain levels of happiness and contentment. Many of us are happy and content in the everyday activities that come our way, from sustaining a personal faith, to collecting the morning paper, taking the dog a walk, or just rocking in our chair on the veranda or balcony.

In Port Douglas there is a historic church called St Mary’s by the Sea.

It is said to be the third most popular church in Australia for getting married in. It is so beautiful and quaint and for those of us married, it would be a very romantic place to reaffirm our marital vows.

I attended the morning service and a time was given when each person introduced themselves and said where they came from. One man stood up and said he lived locally and for him it was Paradise. Straight away a second man, who also lived local, contradicted the first gentleman by saying: ‘No you don’t live in Paradise. Paradise is where you are and what you make of it!’ Whew, I thought the second chap had a good point and pondered on what he had said, albeit in an abrupt manner, and its application.

In Greater Manchester there is a restaurant called Paradise Spice and for some who like spicy food they may feel, in having a meal there, they have experienced a true taste of Paradise. However, for those who do not like spicy food it would have been the furthest place and experience from Paradise! One person’s paradise, happiness and contentment, is not necessarily someone else’s, but we can be grateful for that which affirms our individuality and uniqueness in our own place of Paradise!

If we are in a physical Paradise at the moment but not happy or content then we are not experiencing true Paradise. Conversely if we are in humble and meagre surroundings but feel a true sense of contentment and wellbeing then perhaps Paradise is not too far from us. For those of us with faith we have a promise of an eternal Paradise to come.

Go back to your veranda and balcony, either physically or in your mind’s eye. Appreciate your surroundings and given situation today.

If it’s almost perfect don’t forgot your relationships. Share your good fortune and maintain a personal contentment internally knowing that things can change very quickly. In the tropics the rain falls instantly and violently and can cause severe damage.

If your situation today is somewhat challenging but you have beautiful friendships they can represent your sense of Paradise and wellbeing in your local environment. May you find strength and be sustained within, so as to continually move forward like the Kangaroo and Emu.

Enjoy the moment of today and be thankful for times past, but don’t stare.
Move on, look forward to a future that is yours to have and hold.

Christmas greetings and a peaceful New Year 2018.

Graham

(1) 1 Timothy 6 v 6

For further reading hit the links below for the second edition of my book Blog 51 (October 2020) in black and white or colour